'
'
'                             Fake Dos for QBasic
'
'This program looks like DOS, but it has some suprises in store for the
'unsuspecting user.  Pressing Ctrl-Pause or Ctrl-Break will end the program.
'Press "F5" to start the program.
'
'Programmed by Jeff Lewis
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'
'



CLS
count = 0

a:
count = count + 1
INPUT "C:\", c$

IF count = 1 OR count = 2 THEN
GOTO first
END IF

IF count = 20 THEN
GOTO almost
END IF

IF count = 21 THEN
GOTO finished
END IF

IF c$ = "help" OR c$ = "Help" OR c$ = "HELP" THEN
GOTO help
END IF

a = INT(10 * RND)
SELECT CASE a

CASE 0
PRINT "NO!"

CASE 1
PRINT "What do I look like, a slave?"

CASE 2
PRINT "Do it yourself"

CASE 3
PRINT c$; ", "; c$; ".  Is that all you ever want?"

CASE 4
PRINT "Why don't you figure out how to do that without me."

CASE 5
PRINT "Go "; c$; " yourself."

CASE 6
PRINT "Why do you always expect me to do these things?"

CASE 7
PRINT "I'm getting sick and tired of your laziness!"

CASE 8
PRINT "What's in it for me?"

CASE 9
PRINT "I ain't doin' no more work without somethin' in return."

END SELECT
PRINT
GOTO a

help:
PRINT "Go get the manual, don't ask me!"
PRINT
GOTO a

almost:
PRINT "I'm warning you, just one more time and you'll be sorry."
PRINT
GOTO a

first:
PRINT
PRINT
GOTO a

finished:
PRINT "That's it!  No more!"
PRINT
FOR ctr = 1 TO 5000
NEXT ctr
CLS

DO
ctr = 4
LOOP UNTIL ctr = 9000

'Hit [Page Up] a few times to get back to the beginning.